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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?